Everyone hates chickens. There are many many reasons to hate chickens: The interminable chirping, the random and furious fecal dispersing,

While some people would say it was a complete wast of time and effort to take a picture of a snail underneath a finger in the shape of a butt and posting it on the internet and then writing about it. I can think of nothing more important

Recently I found myself in the city of Norwalk, Connecticut where I paid a visit to the Maritime Aquarium. Unfortunately, the Aquarium’s assorted collection of fish and marine life took it upon themselves to doom the earth to more oil spills and environmental catastrophes. How exactly? Like all zoos and aquariums, the place was packed with small children who swarmed the halls like a colony of ravenous ants descending on a dollop of peanut butter (try that sometime, it’s neat!). These same kids will one day will grow up to be oil executives and heads of state and enterprise. While these animals could have spent a little more time bringing the cute and interactive, they decided that it would be best to idly swim around the feces-speckled water, leaving no impression on the assorted little people. Thus dooming the natural world to death.

Here are just a few examples of the animal kingdom’s greatest failures. I, of course, added in some knucklebutts because these animals are so utterly lame they needed something, anything, to give reason to their very existence

Hey there, Mr. Roach! You look dirty. How about a nice hot SHOWER! Oh no! Is the stream of water

“Look at us, we’re a bunch of dogs! We don’t have a care in the world. We’re just taking a

People get angry sometimes. It’s just part of what makes us human.  Something as small as a paper cut can

This is what it would look like if a flying baby raped a tortoise. (Hat tip to the Sean Casey

, Move over Twitter and Double Dutch. There’s a new fad taking the nation by storm! Knucklebutts! Have you ever