Everyone hates chickens.

There are many many reasons to hate chickens: The interminable chirping, the random and furious fecal dispersing, that red skin booger attached to their heads. But do you know what the very worst chicken offense is? It’s their need to scream like little idiots every time the sun rises. If you or I started screaching at the top of our lungs everytime the great fireball rises in the sky, we’d be rightfully ostracized from the community at large (note: the same fireball that appeared yesterday, and the day before that, and every day before that for fucking millenia. Seriously, get a clue, chickens). But chickens are allowed to carry on unabated.

Assholes.

And we all just look the other way because we know they will soon meet their destiny as an unfinished McNugget casually tossed to the side of a tray in suburban Iowa. But not today!

That’s right. Take this, chickens. You deserve it.